If I were to come back to my inner guide for instruction, I would approach with great humility and restraint. I would walk my own personal path, without comparison to others’ paths, and without paving a destination to some other place I would like to be. I would walk the path I believe has been set for me since I materialized in this body.
I have little to no knowledge of life. I have no idea how to continue, no idea what to do, nor any idea in which direction my life is heading. I cannot speculate what would be a good avenue for me to take, nor can I opine which actions and endeavors might be most favorable for me at this time. I am empty and exhausted of all knowing.
My body is tired and aching. Scarred from endless physiological reactions, I can feel all of its adrenaline, dopamine, and oxytocin as they are released at their own respective times. I can feel the fear, anger, sadness, happiness, bliss, zen, excitement, curiosity, hope, hopelessness, ambition, destitution, fatigue, love, abandonment, and other tender feelings when they arise in me throughout the day. I can see my surroundings – and myself when I cannot see my surroundings. I can see my past, as I remember it, and as another might remember it, and again as it might be from yet another perspective. I can see my future as I imagine it, as it could manifest, as it might manifest, as a possibility, as a multitude of possibilities – as imagination, as dreams, and as mind’s self-indulgence. I can project outwards, painting my thoughts onto the canvas of a world around me. I can internalize inwards, heralding my ego as the center of my experience.
Of all these things I can see and seemingly do, I can actually do and control none of them. They are each destined to arise in my life. They each are entitled the opportunity to present themselves to me, to be seen with the ceaseless vigilance of awareness. Even their processing and healing are still out of my control, beyond my reach, beyond my grasp.
I have no agency except that which God gives me in the moment I receive movement. I have no blame, no credit, no responsibility, no power, no benefit, no risk.
For the reasons I state above – I am unknowledgeable, I am aware, and I am powerless – I approach Spirit with great humility and restraint.
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